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Sex is an important element in marriage and until there is sexual intercourse between a husband and wife, the marriage is not yet spiritually recognized this shows how important sex is in a marriage .
When you look at how aggressive men are towards sex you May think that what a man need from a woman is sex of course , if he has not married you what he will need from a woman is nothing above the body. But if he really intends to marry you or if you guys are already married sex is never what he needs form you , may be let me say it better “what a man needs most from a woman is not sex ” .
Many girls because they are sexually active and experience they will easily be married and have their husbands loving them and when a man approaches for marriage they think the greatest asset they have to show the man is sex. others also think once they are giving out the best for which reason the will be chosen above. Some girls think sex is all that matters so they will never submit the answer is “No ” . But the submission is what men needs not sex , it is time for ladies to know that when a man is ready to marry he will not look out for a woman who will satisfy his sex drive but a woman who will submit her self to him .
Pardon my manners every lady has sensitive organs but not every lady is humbly , so when you are a humbly lady you are an expensive jewelry and a of integrity will fear to lose you .
Using the Biblical injunction which says wife submit to your husband . The reason is that a man’s true love goes out only for a woman who is submissive . ” Your beauty cannot make another woman ugly but your humility can let him love you above all other woman .
Sadly many young ladies in our days call submission as a control and you will hear them saying in tiny romantic voice ” As for me I don’t want any man to control me oh “. If you don’t want to submit don’t think of marriage just remain single because no man in his right Sense will offer his love to a woman whose heart is higher than his height , no matter how short he may be but a woman bows her knees before a man , than the man will automatically bow his heart before her love .
Prof. Ambassador Ibrahim Gambari, a Nigerian scholar-diplomat, was the first Under-Secretary-General and Special Adviser to the Secretary-General on Africa (1999-2005). In that capacity, he worked closely with heads of government, key policymakers as well as institutions in the continent to develop the New Partnership for Africa’s Development (NEPAD). During this period, he was concurrently the Resident Special Representative of the Secretary-General and Head of the United Nations Mission to Angola (2002-2003). He has been a delegate to the Assembly of the African Union as a national delegate (1984-1985) and as a member of the UN Secretary-General’s delegation (2000-2012).
Ambassador Ibrahim Gambari, is currently the Founder/Chairman of Savannah Center External link in Abuja, Nigeria, a think-tank for research, training and public policy debate on the nexus between diplomacy (conflict resolution), democracy and development in Africa. His last assignment at the United Nations was as the Joint Special Representative of the Secretary General and Chairperson of the African Union Commission/Head of the UN and AU Hybrid Mission in Darfur (UNAMID) from January 2010 to July 2012. During Ambassador Gambari’s tenure, UNAMID was the world’s largest international peacekeeping mission.
Ambassador Gambari has held several leadership positions at the national, regional and international levels and has built extensive contacts with governments as well as public and private institutions, especially in Africa. He was the Chairman of the United Nations Special Committee Against Apartheid (1990-1994) during which he worked closely with African governments to coordinate UN policy to eradicate apartheid, thereby building trust and confidence with governments and policymakers in member countries of the Southern African Development Community (SADC).
At the global level, Ambassador Gambari was Under-Secretary-General and Head of the United Nations Department of Political Affairs (2005-2007). In that period, he also operated as UN Secretary-General’s Special Envoy on Cyprus, Zimbabwe and Myanmar. On 22 May 2007, the Secretary-General entrusted him with the Good Offices Mandate on Myanmar. He was also appointed in 2007 by the Secretary-General as Under-Secretary-General and Special Adviser on Iraq Compact and Other Issues, positions he held until 2009. Before joining the United Nations, he served his country as Ambassador and Permanent Representative of Nigeria to the United Nations (1990-1999). He was also Minister of Foreign Affairs of Nigeria (1984-1985) and worked closely with regional leaders, institutions and governments, particularly within the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) on the economic and political development of the sub-region. Prior to this, he was the Director-General of the Nigerian Institute of International Affairs.”
Hypnosis is seen as a cooperative interaction in the suggestion of the hypnotist, it also referred to as hypnotherapy or hypnotic suggestion , is a trance- like state in which you have heightened focus and concentration .
Hypnosis is usually done with the help of a therapist using verbal repetition and mental image , it can be used to help one gain control over undesired behavior or to help you cope better with anxiety or pain. It’s important to know that although you’re more open to suggestion during hypnosis you don’t lose control over your behavior.
Hypnosis has become well know , thanks to popular act where people are prompted to perform unusual or ridiculous action, it has also been clinically proven to provide medical and therapeutic benefits, most importantly in reduction of pains and anxiety
How does hypnosis works
When you hear the word hypnosis, what comes to one’s mind? If you’re like like many people , the word May conjure up image of a sinister stage villain who brings about a hypnosis state by a pocket watch back and forth.
In the everyday trance of a day dream or movie,an imaginary world seems some what real you in the Sense that it fully engages your emotions imaginary event can cause real fear, sadness or happiness and you may even jolt in your seat if you are surprised by something ( a monster leaping from the shadows) , Erickson’s thought says that people hypnotize them selves on a daily basis as is often described as a sleep- like trance state, it is better expressed as a State characterized by focused attention, heightened suggestibility and vivid fantasies. People in a hypnotic State often seen sleepy and zoned out, but in reality, they are in a state of hyper- awareness .
Symptoms or condition of hypnosis.
The following are just a few of the application for hypnosis;
1. The reduction of the symptoms of dementia.
2. The treatment and reduction of pains.
3. Alleviation of symptoms associated with irritable bowel syndrome ( IBS)
4. Control of during dental procedure
5. Reduction of skin conditions including warts and psoriasis.
The Power of Hypnosis
I positioned my chair at a 90-degree angle to the recliner in which my young patient sat. I asked Nancy to look up at the ceiling, where four porous tiles intersected in a neat point. (I have yet to encounter a hypnotist who uses a swinging gold pocket watch. Instead, we ask clients to gaze at a steady object to block distracting visual stimuli.)article continues after advertisementnull
“Stare at the point on the ceiling and let your breathing become slow and deep. Let your body begin to relax, starting with the muscles of your feet and toes. Let your thighs relax; let all tension flow out of your legs.” I gradually slowed my voice as I spoke to subliminally cue her breathing to slow down. “As you continue to stare at the point on the ceiling, your eyelids become heavier, as if a weight were attached, pulling them gently down. You may notice the point starting to move or change color; that will be a sign that you are beginning to go into hypnosis. Each time you blink, it gets harder to open your eyes. Soon they will close completely, and you will sink into a peaceful, sleeplike state.” Nancy looked drowsy, and her eyes began to droop.
At that point I glanced over at Hunter to see what he thought of the induction. The worst reaction my insecure imagination could conjure was mild disapproval, but what I saw was infinitely more dismaying: My big, rangy supervisor sat slumped in his chair. His eyes were closed, muscles lax, breathing barely detectable.article continues after advertisementnull
I stalled as I wondered what to do next. I could just proceed. But I had no idea how Hunter, a nonsmoker, would respond to my commands about Nancy’s smoking. What if he woke, thinking he did smoke? I decided to bring both Nancy and Hunter out of the trance. She gradually opened her eyes as his popped open. After a moment of confusion, he quickly affected a look of exaggerated nonchalance. I made another appointment with Nancy, and she went on her way.
“You were out cold!” I announced to Hunter the instant the door closed behind her.
He looked perplexed again. “I think I dozed off. I remember you saying my eyes would close–er, I mean, her eyes would close. Maybe I was hypnotized.”
Can you be hypnotized? Most people like to think that they can’t. There is often the suspicion that being hypnotized could label them as being weak-willed, naive or unintelligent. But in fact, modern research shows that hypnotizability is correlated with intelligence, concentration and focus. Hypnosis is not an all-or-nothing phenomenon, but rather a continuum. Most people can be hypnotized to some degree–the only question is how far.article continues after advertisementnull
A hypnotic trance is not therapeutic in and of itself, but specific suggestions and images fed to clients in a trance can profoundly alter their behavior. As they rehearse the new ways they want to think and feel, they lay the groundwork for powerful changes in their future actions. For example, in hypnosis, I often tell people who are trying toquit smoking that they will go hours without even thinking of a cigarette, that if they should light up, the cigarette will taste terrible and they’ll want to put it out immediately. I’ll talk them through the imagery of being a nonsmoker–some combination of finding themselves breathing easier, having more energy for exercise, enjoying subtle tastes and smells again, having fresh breath and clean-smelling closing, feeling good about their health, even saving money on cigarettes or whatever motivates that person to quit. The deep relaxation of a hypnotic trance is also broadly beneficial as many illnesses, both psychological or physical, are aggravated by anxietyand muscle tension.
Research over the last 40 years shows that such hypnotic techniques are safe and effective. Furthermore, a growing number of studies show that hypnotherapy can treat headaches, ease the pain of childbirth, aid in quitting smoking, improve concentration and study habits, relieve minor phobias, and serve as anesthesia–all without drugs or side effects (see “Hypnosis Heals,” page 62).
We are also learning that both biological and environmental factors predict how deeply a person goes into a trance. Identical twins reared apart often have strikingly similar responses to hypnosis. Furthermore, an “eye roll” test, developed by Herbert Spiegel, M.D., measures how far a person can roll his eyes up beneath slowly lowering lids and is correlated with hypnotizability, implying that hypnosis has neurological underpinnings. New studies by David Spiegel, M.D. (son of Herbert Spiegel) at Stanford, Helen Crawford, Ph.D., at Virginia Tech and Robert Kunsendorf, Ph.D., at the University of Massachusetts support that idea, example, suggesting anesthesia could blunt cortical activity in areas of the brain associated with pain, while asking hypnotized people to hallucinate an image could produce activity in the visual cortex. Early experiences also play a role. Children who are encouraged to engage in imaginative play and creative activities, for instance, usually grow up to respond strongly to hypnosis.
It is also becoming clear that the skills one needs to respond to hypnosis are similar to those necessary to experience trance-like states in daily life. The best predictors are a propensity to become absorbed in fantasy or imagery and a knack for blocking out the surrounding world. Research suggests that two groups of people are most easily hypnotized: fantasizers and dissociaters. While these groups make up only 5% of the general population, they are so highly hypnotizable that if a person can identify with even a few of their qualities, he or she is probably a good candidate for hypnosis.
In 1981, Cheryl Wilson, Ph.D., and Ted Barber, Ph.D., of The Medfield Foundation interviewed a group of highly hypnotizable people about their childhoods and current adult experiences. They called these people “fantasizers.” These subjects said their imaginations were every bit as vivid as reality. They fantasized during 90% to 100% of their waking hours, all while carrying out other activities. Wilson and Barber believed fantasizers represented most or all highly hypnotizable people.
I designed a study to test this hypothesis further. After I chose 34 of the most hypnotizable people from the several hundred that I had tested, I observed their responses to a variety of hypnotic suggestions and interviewed them to see why they might be so easily hypnotized. When I looked at people who could enter a trance instantly, I realized that almost two-thirds of them fit the profile of Wilson and Barber’s fantasizers. Here’s what they tend to be like:
o The memories that fantasizers have begin unusually early in life. Fantasizers’ recollections are also highly detailed. Of course, we cannot gauge how accurate fantasizers’ memories might be. One subject, for instance, recalled watching glowing alphabet letters popping one by one out of a shower drain. This might be a memory of a childhood dream, but also might well be a complete fantasy–or a drug-induced hallucination.
o In childhood, fantasizers had had at least one, but usually many, imaginary companions often drawn from storybook characters, real-life playmates who had moved away, and pets and toys whom they believed could talk. One of my subjects had seen the movie Camelot as a child and, for two years, imagined being the son of Arthur and Guinevere, commanding the King’s court.
o Parents of fantasizers encourage imaginative play. Fantasy occupies much of these people’s adult lives, too, getting them through boring chores and free time. Some fantasizers superimpose their daydreams onto their daily tasks. “I’m listening to my boss carefully,” recounted one subject, “but I’m seeing the Saturday Night Live character `Mockman’ next to him, imitating all his gestures.”
o Parents of fantasizers often disciplined their children by reasoning with them instead of laying down hard-and-fast laws, using imagination to evoke empathy. “One time, I’d gotten in a fight in nursery school with another girl because I’d picked up a doll that was her favorite,” one subject recalled. “She tried to take it away from me and I pushed her down. The teacher told my mother about it. My mother told me I should think about what the girl had felt like when she fell. I actually felt like I was her, hitting the floor, scraping one knee, and crying. I could also feel her desperation and her thought that the doll was really hers, even though it belonged to the school; she had named it and everything. I wouldn’t have done that again.”
o Although none of the fantasizers in the study reported experiencing severe childhood abuse, when they were spanked or verbally belittled, they typically used fantasy and imaginary companions to restore their self-esteem. Powerful aliens came down and kidnapped subjects’ parents and chained them in a dungeon, for example, or were arrested by the police or sent back to grade school.
o Not surprisingly, fantasizers become deeply absorbed in stories, movies and drama, often becoming oblivious to real-world stimuli. They often find it impossible to pry themselves away from a good novel unless someone is shouting at them; they may be surprised to find themselves sitting in a theater seat at the end of a movie. Fantasizers prolong these dreamy states of mind by incorporating them into daily life, dialoguing with a book or film hero for weeks after first reading about them or seeing them onscreen.
o Fantasizers have such lively imaginations that visual images can trigger physical sensations. They describe feeling hot and wanting a cool drink, for example, in response to seeing photos of the desert. They also shiver through the snowy scenes in Dr. Zhivago. Half of the female fantasizers in my study had experienced false pregnancy at some point in their lives, complete with physiological changes.
o Many fantasizers even reach orgasm through imagination alone. They do so by conjuring up scenarios both vivid and varied, involving partners of both sexes, circus animals, magical beings, and suggestively shaped inanimate objects, for starters. Furthermore, even when having real-life sex with real partners, fantasizers continue to use their imaginations: flesh-and-blood lovers utter imagined comments, dress in hallucinated attire, have movie stars’ faces (and occasionally other body parts) superimposed, and are joined by additional, fantasized partners.
Hypnosis is a natural extension of all these whimsical experiences. Most fantasizers find being in a formal trance more vivid than other imagery in their daily lives, but similar. When I tell fantasizers they will not remember anything about hypnosis after exiting a trance, they sometimes do, anyway. None of them experienced amnesia when I did not explicitly suggest it. All awakened immediately alert after hypnosis. Not only did fantasizers go into a trance instantly as Barber and Wilson had noted, but they could come out of it instantly–most likely because there was not an extremely different state of consciousness to emerge from. Their most common reaction after hypnosis was a big smile.
When I first read Wilson and Barber’s study, I’d already hypnotized thousands of people in the course of hypnotherapy, research, and the training of several graduate students. Their “fantasizer” described many people I’d known who were highly hypnotizable. But I had also seen others who didn’t fit this model. Some of the people I’d hypnotized couldn’t remember ever having experienced such vivid imagery. Wilson and Barber used standard measures of response to hypnosis in selecting the most hypnotizable subjects, but they also included the unusual criterion of being able to enter a trance instantly. I wondered if this selected only one particular type of hypnotizable person.
When I interviewed highly hypnotizable people who could not go into trance instantly, I found a completely different subgroup, comprising a third of my subjects. Instead of remembering hypnosis for its vivid imagery, this group tended to have amnesia or to experience separate states of consciousness during hypnosis. I dubbed these people “dissociaters.” They have the following traits in common:
o Many such subjects reported a history of child abuse. Although some remembered this directly, some had been told by others that they had been battered, and one suspected it was because of multiple childhood bone fractures of dubious origins. Other dissociaters who had not been abused had suffered childhood traumas such as prolonged, painful medical conditions and before the age of 10 experienced the deaths of their parents. Some dissociaters say that they have developed the ability to “not think about” unpleasant things–a skill that they grow to use more and more frequently and subconsciously. They seem to evolve this adaptive talent for coping to ease the pain and difficulty of their early lives.
o While fantasizers have excellent recall for daydreams, movies and stories that have captured their imagination, dissociaters are usually unable to recall them. They are often startled when called on unexpectedly by a teacher or a boss and often state that their mind has been “somewhere else,” though they can’t describe that place. They get intensely absorbed in books and films, losing track of time, but their memory of the stories is vague shortly thereafter.
o Somewhat like fantasizers, dissociaters report that images in their daily lives can produce physical sensations. Most of these sensations, however, are negative. One subject in my study developed a rash after he was told that a harmless vine was poison ivy. Some dissociaters avoid watching the television news because seeing others injured is so painful for them.
o Dissociaters do not recall being hypnotized as clearly and cheerfully as fantasizers. For example, when a dissociater in my study was asked whether she’d ever been hypnotized, she answered “maybe” and described watching a police show on television with her boyfriend in which a detective was hypnotizing a witness. He swung his watch and told the witness to go into a deep sleep. The dissociater remembered nothing else of the show until she woke 20 minutes later, during a scene in which the detective was waking his witness.
o Dissociaters don’t have the same variety of sexual imagery that their fantasizer counterparts report. In fact, they are often disturbed by even mild sexual fantasies.
o Dissociaters in my study always had amnesia after hypnosis when I suggested it during their trances. Some lacked recall even when it was not suggested. Dissociaters woke up from hypnosis looking disoriented, asking what had happened. Just as they need a lengthy transition to go into trance, they take a bit of time to emerge from it.
If you recognized yourself as a fantasizer, you’re not alone: Fantasizers are almost twice as common in the general population as dissociaters. Still, dissociaters are more common in the clinical population, since they’re more likely than fantasizers to have psychological problems. That’s good news for those who related to the dissociater profile, since not only are you more likely to go into a trance, but you’re more likely to benefit from it, too. Even if neither group seems similar to your own personality, take heart: About 95% of all people are susceptible to hypnosis, to varying degrees. Whether you use it to relieve stress, stop a headache or get over a bad habit, hypnosis is a tool for better health that practically everyone can use–some to dramatic effect. How well it will work depends on you.
With gradual easing of lockdown occasioned by Coronavirus, hundreds of travellers from Ogun and other states were stopped from entering Lagos on Monday.
Early Monday morning, hundreds of travellers were seen trying to enter Lagos as the police and other security operatives stopped them. More photos below…
There are three major points in a relationship which is as follows ;
1. Love : According to the Oxford dictionary love is an object of ones romantic feeling ,a daring or sweetheart .Also it can be an intense feeling of affection and care towards another person.
2. Trust: In a brief moment or terms trust means confidence in or quality, still on the topic trust is another aspect which is important in a relationship.
3. Avoid cheating: According to st.john dictionary cheating is a process of being unfaithful to one’s spouse or partner.it is another aspect in relationship which is important because people have subjected relationship into an emotional fight or disorder , because it is very important for one to be very honest with his partner . I rest my case.
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